dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
