Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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