im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
