I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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