she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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