There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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