I am spending my child support on dildos
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
