get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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