I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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