After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
