Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Green mimosas i think yes
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
