1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
