omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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