Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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