Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
