Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Randomize
