It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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