I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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