Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
