We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
