i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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