I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
