so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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