Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
