There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
