OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
