I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
