i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
