I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
