I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
