I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
No I am not eating basil off your cock
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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