I'm so fucking centered right now
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize
