Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
