Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
