How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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