I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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