you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
