I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
