Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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