i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Randomize
