how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
