It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
