watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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