escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
