I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
