if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
