pop tarts are not kleenex
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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