I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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