after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
NoShamevember. You game?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
It's shark week go big or go home
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
