he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
